Often when I travel, I struggle when asked to share examples with my new friends and local colleagues of things that are “truly American”. The US has never been a monoculture; our food and daily practices are modified hybrids, borrowed and adapted from other countries and regions of the world due to our collective history of being a nation built and defined by successive waves of immigration.
When asked to share a concrete example of “what do Americans eat for breakfast”, or “who decides how an American family spends their money”, I am struck that the answer I would comfortably give, “It depends, everyone does things differently” is in itself, a very American response. We prioritize individualism, choice, and variety.
It seems unfair to those who share their home or meals with me, who sit me down on brightly colored cloth mats to view framed photographs of ancestors, who provide endless examples to help me learn and get to know their experience. I know they want me to open and share a glimpse into life across the world. What can I offer for images or description? Cornflakes and orange juice? Starbucks in hand for the morning commute? My practice of going out of the way to get to the local co-op for organic muffins and free trade coffee, and the reality that I can make this decision because I can make the extra time? I don’t need to pump or heat water for my morning shower, and so I can focus on the implications of my breakfast choices. What to say?
Travel provides the perspective necessary to notice. If one is willing to consider and perhaps even become a little uncomfortable, the dominant, unifying aspects of one's home culture slowly emerge and become evident. This requires us to reflect, to angle the anthroplogical spot light away from the place we visit, and turn it towards ourselves. Through our interactions “outside”, we begin to notice what we don’t even know is within. The way that we conceive of the world, of right and wrong, of the way that we assign value to things, begins to reflect back. Insight shows that a unifying home culture does exist. What do our beliefs and actions say about where we come from?
Fortunately, while traveling this time with Rally for Health in India, I was able to share a great example of my own home culture, by sharing an all American holiday with new friends, American, Canadian, and Indian. At the end of our incredibly long last day of rickshaw driving, we were able to share an incredible meal together. It was a transcultural experience, and it happened in a very special place.
Faripur is located about an hour from the city of Bareilly, in the north western state of Uttar Pradesh. This region reports some of the worst health and demographic indicators in the country. There is an old Methodist mission site and hospital that was initially founded by Clara Swain, the first western trained female physician to practice in Asia. What remains is a small health clinic which struggles to cover expenses and stay afloat, a kind and committed staff of Indian nationals, and Babyfold, a lovely school and dormitory for orphan children that exists within the mission compound.
The Clara Swain clinic was to be our last care delivery site, the crowning jewel in the Rally clinic roster as it is a place that our rally founder had come to as a volunteer three years ago. For him, this visit was a return to people whom he knows, has worked with, and cares about very much.
Perhaps because of this, our arrival felt like an uncanny homecoming. We were met by Miss Lillian Wallace, the esteemed matriarch of this former mission site. Arrived to India by steamship in 1956 as a young lady in her early twenties, Miss Lillian has remained in India, and in Faripur, ever since. Progressing from her original role as physical education teacher, Miss Lillian eventually became administrative supervisor of the Clara Swain hospital system. In addition, she supervises Babyfold, and various other simultaneous projects.
Miss Lillian is a powerhouse, a women of deep conviction, kindness, and unwavering gumption. At eighty three years old, she drives her SUV through rush hour traffic with a confidence and skill that puts local rickshaw drivers to shame, all the while fielding calls on her mobile and telling us the story of Clara Swain’s arrival to Bareilly region. We, her dazed and amazed passengers, can only nod, are initially rendered speechless.
Warm water does much for restoring a sense of overall wellbeing. Freshly showered, we came down the staircase and were greeted, one by one, by the flock of Babyfold. Beautiful children ranging in age from three years to seventeen smiled shyly from beneath dark bangs and heavy eye lashes, emanating sweet goodness. They stood in line and proudly presented each of us with a “Happy Thanksgiving” pendent necklace. Touched by the pureness of such a gesture, and perhaps overcome by the experiences we had shared over the past four weeks on the Rally trail, we began to embrace each other, declaring, “Happy Thanksgiving”. Our good Indian colleagues echoed back gleefully, “Happy Thanksgiving, my first Thanksgiving”.
We were ushered into a dining room and waved goodnight to the kids. The room set for a holiday meal, with embroidered napkins and perfectly aligned place settings, was lovely. But, in true Rally fashion, we immediately began moving furniture to create one long, family style dining table. The food began to arrive, piles of breaded and baked chicken, mixed vegetables, and, unbelievably mashed potatoes and gravy!
Though we have eaten our way through this trip, with no shortage of new and delicious offerings in every town and village, this meal, prepared by the Babyfold cooks with authentic Thanksgiving spice and flavoring direction by Miss Lillian linked us across the world to our various homes, families, and most of all, memories. Our conversation became a flurry of explanation, to share with our Indian friends what Thanksgiving meant, where we came from. Details about what is cooked, who is present, the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade floats, the joys of left overs, dishwashing marathons, family squabbles and indigestion, came pouring out. Like school children at share and tell time, we told our stories, and in doing so, showed pieces of ourselves. Tradition and ritual, and variations on such, are what make up our reality. Together we all shared the Thanksgiving tradition of expressing thanks; thanks for all we have been blessed with, and those we have each been blessed by.
The day after our Indie Thanksgiving marked the beginning of the end of our Rally. Two more clinic days in Faripur, then health screenings and well child exams for the children of Babyfold in the evening. We resumed our meals of dahl and puri, and continued to search for the right hindi words to form expressions, tilting our heads side to side for emphasis. Tikhe, and Atcha, were beginning to be more meaningful for what we wished to convey then “Okay?” or “Sure, got it”.
With packs and supply bags on our backs and in each hand rather than tied to rickshaws, we boarded a night train, headed for our final destination, Delhi. The train station, a live organism itself at all hours, hummed with passengers, tea carts, and intermittent whistles. The platform glowed strangely in the limited florescent light. Piles of ancient looking luggage seemed to be stacked here and there, forming barricades. Monkeys scaled the rooftops and handrails in unrully, arm swinging troops.Old men pulled wool blankets across their faces or lit cigarettes against the cool night air. Mothers wielding thermoses of tea pulled their children close to them. Some squatted, some laid down together on scraps of sleeping mats, with cloth or cardboard covering their heads, a small buffer against grit, smoke, noise, foot traffic, and the scuttle of dogs, mice and cows, freely, grazing in the trash piles that lined the platforms. The smell of urine seemed particularly strong.
When it was time, we divided into groups and geared up for the process of boarding the train. I pushed, and was pushed simultaneously, as bodies of all size somehow parted enough space so that when the doors closed we did in fact find ourselves inside the train. This was just the beginning, as any experienced rider of India’s railway system knows. Fight or flight plays out in its purest form, as the entire journey becomes a jockeying for position. Space and place. The amazing part is, everyone settles in and eventually smiles and greets you over the rim of their chai cup. The very same toothless old women who twenty five minutes ago was pushing your luggage with her feet, and using her 100lbs of bodyweight to prevent you from taking your paid for seat! No hard feelings, this is the way that things get done…Tikhe?
Each person made sense of the experience differently. We form our thoughts, and feel our feelings, based on where we have come from, both geographically, and metaphorically, through life. None of us arrive to Delhi without a sense of being challenged, of having glimpsed at ourselves in the proverbial mirror. If we choose, we can tuck this experience away, without assigning judgment or meaning. Attention to this train ride, combined with the cornucopia of other experiences we have had together, and individually, as we have spent a month rallying across India, can help us gain awareness. And for that, we give thanks.