Thursday, 28 April 2011

Blood


Blood

Every year,millions of dollars are spent by African governments and international research, aid, relief and development agencies to combat the enormous burden of disease perpetuated by the very small, but ever virulent, mosquito. Malaria is endemic in much of the world; people living within the highlighted red belt that shows up on all CDC or WHO maps as a “malaria risk zone” experience malaria infection and symptoms frequently during their life time.

For much of the world, malaria remains a resource drain, a nuisance, a fact of life. Depending on the strain of malaria and the level of infection transmitted, and the preexisting health status of the “host”, malaria can progress from an inconvenience to a dangerous medical emergency. This all too common illness remains one of the leading causes of death for children under five years of age around the world.

Severe, or “complicated” malaria, is distinguished in the medical community by the degree to which it ravages the body. Associated symptoms beyond just fever give us an indication as to the degree of destruction that is being done.  Frequently we see women with dark skin but white palms and jaundiced eyes, children who arrive to us semiconscious, their eyes rolling, old men that have experienced malaria bouts frequently in their lifetimes, but who suddenly succumb this time, their skin radiating heat like an iron press, fresh off the cook stove. Malaria in pregnancy particularly pains me; the mere thought of blood circulating into a developing fetus that is plagued by the parasite, gobbling up all the nutrients and oxygen that belongs to the developing child, robbing them of their very first right.

Every single day at the hospital, I have patients and care givers of young patients telling me “skin gets hot, very hot at night”, “head hurting” or, “mouth tastes bitter”. I ask more questions and begin an exam. I want to know, early on, whether or not symptoms have progressed to include “body jerking” or, seizure activity. Has the malaria crossed over into the brain? I especially want to know this for young children.

Being a common ailment throughout the continent and around the globe, one would think that management of this disease would be cookie cutter standard. In fact, the opposite is true. Complicating factors such as limitations in reliable testing, and medication resistance, produce ever changing protocols and guidelines for treatment. For western medical providers who arrive in country with books, and a pharmacology matrix, those of us who like to rely on “evidence based” medicine, the conundrum of malaria unfolds slowly. The sheer number of patients, all with the same somewhat vague seeming symptoms, leads us initially to press harder for differentiation. Not every fever can be explained by malaria. We know this, and push for The Answer. And then, there is the question, what about the blood?

As they say here in West Africa, “Malaria eats the blood, blood gets TOO low”. Many people here suffer from chronic anemia. When we note the classic signs-pale skin to the inner lower eye lid and palms, weakness, fatigue, sometimes shortness of breath we suspect anemia, or “low blood”, and begin the process of cajoling the lab for a hemoglobin level. Then, if stars over the bay of Benin align and the hospital actually functions somewhat smoothly, a young kid sitting in a small lab room fires up the small generator, pulls a white coat on over his Akon T-shirt, locates the necessary items, and appears at the bedside where you have requested him. The blood sample is obtained by holding the sweating, squirming hand of a wailing infant while nurse and lab tech together prick the tiny finger, and try to soothe the terrified mother, who no doubt is second guessing her choice to bring the child to the hospital instead of to the traditional healer for “country medicine”.

Hemoglobin, the value used to determine the number of oxygen carrying red blood cells circulating in the body, should be between 11-17mg/dl in a healthy person. Women tend to have lower levels than men, children slightly lower than women. Regardless, when hemoglobin levels get too low, the implication is that the blood being carried about the body does not carry enough oxygen, carbon dioxide is not being removed, and that organs, cells and tissues from toes to brain are not getting what they need.

In emergency departments in The States, we often transfuse patients when their hemoglobin level drops below 10mg/dl, and we do it with a sense of urgency. At St. Timothy Hospital, the cut off for transfusion is a hemoglobin of 6mg/dl. We transfuse kids almost every day, often 24-28 hours after their arrival to the hospital in a state of weakness and fever, after the IV has already delivered 2 doses of liquid Quinine for malaria treatment. The delay occurs as we implore the patient’s family to find a compatible donor, because without 24 hour electricity, the hospital is not able to maintain refrigeration for a blood bank.

At home in US hospitals, we order up blood “STAT”, and wait anxiously at the tube station for the red, highlighted, container to arrive with meticulously printed product information on the bags of blood and professional grade tubing. At St. Timothy, we have to place the responsibility on the patients’ families. These young girls, mothers, barely look at us when we round. They hold their infants arms while we stick and prod to place IVs and obtain blood samples, not understanding a word we are saying despite our attempts and efforts to smile gently. They blindly trust us, and expect that we can make their children well. We explain that we need to put blood in, that only with blood will their child be playful, energetic, and able to work or go to school, or even eat again.

Often, when the delay goes on too long, the Liberian nurses become more stern in their imploring. “We told you this baby needs blood, yeah? Where the family? Who is coming?” The mothers or grandmothers pick at their children’s hair twists, are silent in response.

“Can they find someone?” I ask, nervously eyeing the pale child next to them. The Liberian nurses shake their heads in frustration.

“She say she call the baby’s father, that he has to ask his friends. I told her to buy it, but she say she have nothing to buy with”.

Outside of immediate family or the occasional kind soul, it seems that blood selling is one of the few thriving industries in town. If they can past the lab screening tests-no HIV, Hepatitis, or active case of Malaria, and if their blood type matches that of the small child in need, young men with pipes for veins, muscular despite the fact that they do little all day except pull a fishing line at sunset or engage in a football match, can make 10-20 US dollars for a 200ml bag of blood. Perhaps they use that money to provide for their own children, scattered about town. Perhaps they are purchasing mosquito nets for their families to sleep under at night. The big question is, will those same donors be available the day their own infant, or mother of their children, sends someone down the hill from the hospital on a blood hunt. Would they spare some, free of charge, to a friend’s child? These are questions that seemed to have no answer for me, white nurse woman. I keep asking.

I crouch down in front of the young girl, mother, or put my hand on the old grandma’s leathered hand. “Mama, no medicine can help now. This baby need blood, today, now. You have to call your people”.  I’ve seen funerals here, how the entire town is family. But when it’s time to give or even sell blood, suddenly, people don’t seem to know eachother.

So, we wait. And really, perhaps it’s just the knowing of the level that makes us, westerners used to immediate response and gratification, frantic. It took me longer than just a few days to get over the reality that these kids are walking around with hemoglobins of 5, 4.7, 4.3…what is sustaining them?

As time goes on, managing malaria does not become much more clear. How to decide between uncomplicated and complicated cases, how much weight to give the patients recall of symptoms versus their actual presentation? What if they were started on one drug, and still have symptoms? While on an academic level, the problem seems to become more and more compounded, somehow, our reasoning, or perhaps what is known as “clinical judgment” emerges.

We treat broadly and quickly for malaria, unless we can strongly justify otherwise. Because the likely hood that malaria is a problem, if not the problem, persists. And the risk of missing the window to prevent the progression from an uncomplicated case to a medical nightmare haunts us. This part of clinical judgment uploads pretty quickly. Unlike adjusting to these abnormal lab values, the reality of someone’s child seizing endlessly on your ER table, beginning the progression down hill towards respiratory arrest, while a bewildered family looks on, is enough to motivate any clinician, any person for that matter, to stop this train well before any impeding derailment. We all learn this; the way it happens often becomes transformative.

Prince, a child from a Mende speaking family, came to St. Timothy hospital just after dark one evening. He was brought by his grandmother, a weathered faced woman who wore no shoes, who had noticed “baby was jerking”, in his sleep. Round cheeks and fleshy limbs made Prince stand out compared to his skinny peers. His little body was so hot that holding him felt strange, almost painful. His brown eyes appeared vacant, with boggy, dilated pupils, his lips were parted with sloughing skin; he was technically awake but lying far too still for a two year old on his hospital bed.

I had arrived to the hospital alone, preparing to observe a C-section. One of the laboring women from the morning OB rounds was not progressing despite a long attempt at laboring through, and the Liberian GP and anesthetist were prepping her for the procedure. The nurses greeted me in the ER room, where a newly arrived patient was being triaged. Glad for the opportunity to work with them to teach and facilitate rapid assessment, I detoured and found what I guess in one perspective could be described as a great teaching opportunity.

Sadly, a grandma with a lappa wrap covering only her modest parts lay slack jawed and minimally responsive before us. Her IV line was infusing, they were taking her temperature. The Liberian PA was writing orders for malaria treatment. The nurses aid reported a blood pressure of 190/116. One quick glance at her pupils…the right wide, the left pinpoint, the story that she went to bed after the afternoon meal with a “strong headache”, gave me enough final information to redirect the activity in the room.

“This woman’s blood, the pressure is too high, I think her brain is hurt because the pressure might have torn a hole in her brain blood vessels. Everyone, listen, we can treat her for malaria, but see how she is not responding to us? See how she moves her left arm a little when I pinch her nail beds, but not on the left side? She how her lips are drooping and she is drooling”?

We transferred this patient to the ICU room, designated as so because it housed one of two oxygen tanks in the entire hospital, the other being in the OR. We practiced transferring a patient from stretcher to bed using a sheet to slide the patient smoothly, instead of relying on family to pull and lift her by the arms and legs, like a sack. We practiced starting oxygen immediately, and keeping the oxygen in place until a decision could be made.

During this process I began to discuss with the nurses not only stroke but, given the lack of ventilator capability or any form of neurosurgery specialty in the entire country, I began to broach the issue of palliative care. Her prognosis was not a surprise to the staff. They were well aware of the signs of impending death. What, if anything, to do about it, how to handle this patient at a point of inevitable decline, was what I wanted to address. Often, such a prognosis was approached in silence, avoidance.

While I recognized that my way was not the way or might not be right for here, there was no denying the fact that this old woman’s husband and two sons were standing there; certainly with some level of expectation. Much as I debate, I still can’t see the harm in communicating, can’t see any cultural faux paux or damage done in updating a family as to a prognosis, offering them sympathy and respectful support. Tonight however, the process became a bit complicated. Tonight, the ICU was actually full.

We arrived to the ICU room and found two pediatric patients inhabiting the other beds. Momentarily I was confused because they had not been there this morning, and none of the nurses had mentioned the arrival of critical cases when I talked with them by phone about the scheduled C-section. Maybe they were not really critical? The smell of acidosis and sight of rapid breathing from the little girl in bed 2 verified what feared, and already knew.

As we settled the grandma in bed 1 and I made a display of positioning her so that the drool that was beginning to accumulate did not immediately result in aspiration, I noticed the boy in bed 3 seizing.
Thus began a three hour ordeal, the kind that at home would involve a critical care room, 2-3 designated nurses, a PICU fellow, pediatric specialist, a breathing tube, respiratory therapy, monitoring of every function of life, multiple medications infusing via pumps and calibrated machines, and  a social worker for the family. The point is not so much that we have none of these things in Liberia, but that we were still getting a handle on how to effectively use the minimal resources that were available at this hospital. The biggest challenge was encouraging the Liberian nurses to be confident, to be empowered, to be proactive, and do something when these kids begin to appear, as we say, TOO sick.

The role that I had taken on here, both as clinical nurse and as teacher, “capacitator’ of the local nurses gave me two equally compelling priorities-the patient, first, of course, but also, to build up my colleagues, as they were the ones who would be doing this long after I was tucked back into my world across the Atlantic. As I lifted the child’s airway open and asked the family of the stroke patient to step out of the room, knowing that I was about to take the oxygen away from her and give it to the seizing child, I grabbed hold of nurse Amelia’s shoulder.

“This is your room, you are the nurse in charge tonight. Talk to us- me, Yatta, Esther, Howa and Zo…assign us tasks. Everyone in this room is sick, but what needs to come first, how can we work together?”
 Amelia, a young nurse who had expressed interest in “being good and quick in the emergency role” smiled and lowered her eyes. I was pushing her outside her cultural comfort zone, asking her to assert herself over the group, and over me, a foreigner. Some might argue that imposing my own process was inappropriate, but since the defined job, as directed by the Ministry of Health and Chief Medical Officer was to transition St. Timothy towards more western style, emergency and critical care, and at this particular moment we actually had an ICU full of need around us, I was ready to blur lines and blow the status quo out of the water. 

“Amelia,” I pressed. “You are the one in charge. You don’t have enough hands to do all things at once. Use your mind and your voice to move our hands…we are a team, but there is one team leader in an emergency. You can do this, who is sickest?” I eyed the seizing child, counted his respirations, gauging how much longer I could focus on the need to teach, before stepping in.

“The old lady is sickest” Amelia mumbled. My heart sank in frustration, yet… “But, I think that this baby needs our attention”.

“Yes! Why? You are right, but go on, why?” I waved my hands, motioning for more.

“Because, he is convulsing.”

I waited, holding my breath., then pushed one last time.“We don’t know why the child is convulsing in this very moment, but perhaps if we support him through it, he can recover and have a good chance for life. Yes?’

“Yes”. Amelia nodded. “And the old lady, I think she will be gone from us soon.’

“I agree with you. We have to consider what we can do, for all our patients and I think we are doing the best that we can for the lady. What does the baby need most at this moment?” I was already lifting the nasal cannula off the older women, and looking for something, anything, to vaguely wipe off the prongs.

“Diazapam?” Amelia stared at me, intently.

“Yes,” I agreed “We need to stop the seizure. But what is the first thing, always the first thing we think about?”

“For the person to breathe?”

I almost cheered. We placed the oxygen line into the infant’s nose, got the dose of diazepam injected into his thigh, and I watched his little body relax. His snoring seemed to ease his grandmother, who began to wipe sweat and urine from his little body. As I listened to his lungs and lifted him to move him up in bed, I noticed that his right arm was swollen, just above where his IV line was taped. Half his dose of Quinine was drained from the hanging bottle. How to tell how much of it had been received to his veins and was circulating to kill the malaria parasite, and how much had leaked through the side of his infiltrated vein and was now pooling in the space between vessel and deep skin tissue. Great. Some days it feels like all we do is replace IVs on these kids.

By now my US colleagues had arrived to the ICU room, two doctors specializing in ER medicine who were also planning to watch the C-section. They surveyed the scene, taking in the obvious degree of acuity in the room. We all three looked at each other. Questions: How long had these kids been here? What has been done for them? If the Liberian MD and PA are prepping for a scheduled C-section, do they consider these kids stable? Is it just up to the nurses to sort out what to do for them? We grabbed their charts and began to try to glean the story, put the pieces together.

Doctor Steve rubbed his forehead. “The boy has a hemoglobin of 4.3. Is that even possible?” I shook my head, mildly surprised that we actually had a lab value this early in the game. Doctor. Rob was at the bedside of the small girl. He held her wrist, felt her pulse, and watched her breathing.

 “Antibiotics would be a step in the right direction” He began to write orders, and then held the girls small arm while I placed a second IV. The skin was loose, did not pull tautly against her muscle, but stayed stretched when I removed the tourniquet. We call it skin tenting. It means severe dehydration.

We fell into our roles, and drew the Liberian nurses in with us. I continued to press Amelia toward management and delegation, and pushed the doctors to communicate their thoughts and plans with her. Six of us worked together for hours, placing IV lines, mixing and hanging medication, alternating oxygen between the sick boy and girl, talking through a decision tree of what to prioritize, how to proceed. The old woman labored to breathe behind us, while the sick children mewed like kittens, the only response they could muster in response to the poking and prodding we were imposing.

We talked to each family, explained what we thought was wrong, what we were doing, what we hoped to fix. The family of old woman were incredibly gracious when I explained taking the oxygen for the children, and when the doctors explained that even with the best technology in a hospital across the world, that their mother’s brain was likely irreparable. They encouraged us to work for the children, then went outside, to the front courtyard steps, to sleep under the stars, and wait for her to die.

By 12am, Prince, the seizing, anemic boy in bed 3, was emerging as the most difficult to resuscitate. He needed blood so badly that it was hard to tell if the seizing at this point was directly due to the malaria parasite, or if his blood was now so low that it carried an inadequate amount of oxygen to his brain, and was therefore seizing due to hypoxia. Blowing oxygen into his nose through plastic tubing would only help to a point. He needed more red blood cells to carry the oxygen around his small body. Plus, we could not, could not, get an IV re-established.

His grandmother stood at the head of the bed, an old woman wrapped in a towel against the believed to be poisonous night air, in which we continued to sweat profusely. She watched silently as we pricked hands, arms, wrists, legs, feet, then moved to deep vessels at the groin, even the neck. I feared she believed that we were torturing or experimenting on her child, that she would call us white saddists and carry the child into the night in fear and horror. I cajoled the nurses into translating for me, even in the midst of our frantic work, to explain.

“Old Ma, we are trying, we don’t want to hurt the child, we want to help him. And, then the favorite conversation. “This boy needs blood. Who is looking? The boy will not be alive in the morning, someone needs to go to town tonight.

While we waited for the miracle of a blood donor to appear, we continued to try to find a place for a portal to infuse it. At one point, I held the child’s arm tight as I tried to work an IV into the bend of his elbow. It gave me no blood return, and as I let go of the site, I saw that the child’s arm remained ridged. I tried to move his arm for him, and became momentarily nauseas. Had I dislocated his little elbow in my efforts?  Strange, to feel relieved from one bad possibility by the recognition of another. Dr. Steve pointed to the child’s vancant eyes, and we both realized that the child was seizing again. While not enough to move his whole body, Prince involuntarily made his arm rigid and arched his back. We injected more diazepam into his sweat drenched leg muscle, he relaxed and his arm was mobile again. I hoped that his respiratory drive would not be depleted by the frequent dosing.

Finally, Doctor Rob broke the tense silence, drew us from the microlevel of focus needed to methodically hunt for a possible place and try to coax a catheter into any hint of a vessel. Doctor Steve and I looked up, from where we were again attempting to access the deep femoral vein.

“Do you want to try an EJ again ?” I asked, and began to expose the child’s short neck.

“No, I want to stop messing around and get a line in now. I want an 18g needle and some Betadine”. It registered and I inwardly nodded in agreement, in thanks. He was right.

I translated for the other nurses, explained that we were going to put a needle into the boys leg, not into a vein, but into the bone. I showed them how to help prep the site, explained as the doctors palpated for the right place, at the top of the shin bone, avoiding the growth plate. Doctor Steve and I held the leg. Doctor Rob guided the needle delicately through the boys flesh, then put his own weight behind it and began to bore the needle in a clockwise motion, searching for the space where bone tissue gave access to circulation and we would be able to bring fluid and new blood. I braced myself for the sound of the signature pop, which offers some relief that the line would be in, but seemed still seemed unnatural. It came, and we connected the IV fluid and resumed the Quinine infusion.

I looked at Rob's strained face. In the medical world, we care for and give care to people, on many levels. We each are individuals, good at caring differently. I knew that in a moment like this, this way was the only, necessary, way. In a rare moment, I acknowledged this type of caring as something unique, in line with but separate from my own capacity. Beyond just the skill, it was the decision, the timing. I saw his caring, and it resonated deeply.

We left the hospital, knowing that there was little else to be done until blood was actually available. The grandma assured me that the lab technician was finding a donor in town. She had given him the equivalent of 20 US dollars. The nurses assured me that the lab tech knew who to ask, that it was a separate matter, a side business. It’s the business of getting blood in this town. We had reached our point of being able to do. The old grandma in bed 1 continued to snore agonally. Every now and then we rechecked her vital signs to gauge how long it would be. We wiped her chin and smoothed her hair.

I reviewed the use and care of interosseos needles with the Liberian nurses, we discussed step by step plans for what to do if the boy were to get worse. Seemed ridiculous to be saying if worse, but here, everything is about degrees of severity, perspective.Just before we walked down the hill towards house, and bed, I glanced at Prince’s chart. His blood type was marked in large script, B positive.

Momentarily, I was transported to a hospital room, worlds away, where I was the patient, surrounded by lights, feeling small within a white room. Specialists surrounded me, they were discussing blood that day as well: blood type, needing more blood to analyze, and the infinite amount of helix contained, coded information,that a sample can convey. I learned that day that my blood type is B positive. I know that my blood might not be good for all children, but as I stared at Prince’s soft brown eyes, temporarily focused and slowly following movement around him in between seizures, I realized that for this boy, it might mean life.

With a ringing in both ears, I offered. The nurses assured me that blood was coming, that I didn’t need to give my own. They shook their heads and protested “You have to be strong, to treat all the patients. You don’t need to do it. It’s the family’s responsibility”. Tempered by the thought that foreigners offering up a solution to a problem meddles with the process of a long term solution to blood scarcity in this community, and with the practical belief that local blood might deliver less unfamiliar antibodies to this child, I did not push the idea. Still, as we left the ward, I found nurse Ahmi.

“If anything goes wrong, call us, for any small thing.” She nodded, understood. We were on call that night, the Liberian MD and PA had long gone home after the C-section. I had heard the child born was a healthy girl.

“Anything Ahmi, I know the IO needle is a new thing, I don’t want any nurse feeling uncomfortable. You call us for anything. And Ahmi”, I hesitated, watching the boy through the doorway. As his grandma sponged off his little brow, he curled his pale nail beds around her lappa cloth skirt; an encouraging sign. “Ahmi, if no one brings blood within an hour, wake me. We are both B positive. Please”. She agreed, nodded again.

What felt like only minutes, but was apparently 2 hours after I had hit the pillow that the radio erupted static through the darkness, and I resurfaced, knowing immediately. Nurse Ahmi’s voice confirmed that they were coming for me, for the blood. I climbed into the land cruiser for the 4 wheel drive ascent up the hill, noting the rarity of coolness in the air. I was not sweating, and actually had goosebumps. The stars above were majestic.

Ahmi rode beside me in the ambulance truck. “They didn’t come?” I ventured. Ahmi shook her head, looking distressed more than I ever remembered seeing her seasoned self to be. “The lab tech is drunk. He took the money. We went to find him, he drank the baby’s blood money.” It was not the time, or necessary, for us to confirm what we both knew was an excessive degree of wrong doing.

On arrival, I went straight to the lab. In my half awake state I stood in front of the lab tech, not the one who had been on shift earlier, who had presumably gone into town in search of Prince’s blood donor, but another, older man, who worked the graveyard shift. As always happens when on the other side, I suddenly was a bit unsure of how to proceed. The man motioned me in, told me to sit, introduced himself while he began to methodically lay out his equipment, donned gloves, palpated my tanned but in comparison light hand.

“My name is Fortune” he told me. “When is the last time you gave blood?”

“Not since high school” I admitted. “They won’t allow me to give it in the US anymore…’

“Because you spend a lot of time in Africa?” he finished for me.

“Yes.” I watched as he performed text book perfect venipuncture, then deposited a small sample of my blood onto 3 slides, and into one tube, to begin the screening process.

“Well,” Fortune concluded, as he attended to his slides, “We are thankful to receive your second quality blood tonight”. We grinned at each other and I realized, under the dimly lit bulb that was attracting bugs, to swarm around the ceiling, that Fortune was well educated. Beyond meticulous technique in his trade, Fortune possessed a worldliness that indicated life and learning beyond Robertsport. Appropriate use of sarcasm is always a good clue to this phenomenon, I am finding. 

The man’s name must have blessed me, because all my screening tests came up negative, my typing was correct, and we were able to move on to the collection process. A 16g needle is a large one; I felt the pinch and burn in my right arm and made a mental note to reiterate to the nurses why we put such large IVs in trauma patients, because they allow the blood to infuse in, or in my case here tonight out, quickly.

It took about 20 minutes, from start to finish, for Fortune to drain and collect blood from me, destined for Prince. During that time I sat very still. It seemed like the first time I had been awake and still in quite a while, certainly since I had been here in Liberia. I periodically squeezed my fist to coax it down, watched the color darken in the tubing from red to deep purple. Outside, the roosters were already crowing, but other than that, it was quiet. Fortune talked to me, told me stories about the hospital and the war, recorded my name in the donation log, along side others from Robertsport and Grand Cape Mount County. His block pencil letters cautiously spelled out my name, Kathryn, next to countless Massas ,Howas, Sonny Boys, Juniors and Alfreds. Under address, he simply put, America.

I thought about a lot of things during this time. Some had to do with this hospital, some had to do with others; different times, different places. I thought about blood- how it restores, how it can kill. I watched Fortune open each piece of equipment from a sealed package, was thankful for his professional technique.
Finally, it was done, it was time. In slow motion I stood up, and changed roles. Fortune passed to me the bag of blood, labeled with a black marker to bare the all important B+ marking. It was still warm, and yes, it was strange, to consider that I was holding my own. As I turned to leave the lab and run for the pediatric ward, I turned to Fortune, to shake hands. He thanked me, and then paused. “Can I ask just one thing?”

I was startled. “Of course.”

“Tell me honestly. In the United States, do they have the cure for AIDS in their laboratories? Do rich people die from AIDS?" The weight of what he was shyly, politely asking, the implications, hit me like a truck. I chose my words carefully.

“Fortune, I have worked at what is considered the best hospital in the entire USA. I have taken care of many rich people, and many poor people. I promise you, I have never heard of any cure for AIDS. Scientists are searching, everyday. We have medicines that can allow a sick person to live longer, live better, with AIDS. Many of those medicines are the same ones people can get here, at St. Timothy. I look at the packaging, they are here."

I wanted to grab his hand, to emphasize what I was saying, but my hands were full, holding the body temperature bag full. 

“But no one, no one anywhere, is considered cured. Everyone dies from something, and people with the virus will eventually die because of it”. I looked into his blinking, bespeckled eyes, trying to ascertain if he believed me. And then I took, what may be, a personal liberty. Sometimes we have to say what we believe, or want to believe.

“If and when they find a cure for AIDS, the West will not keep it from Africa. It will be for all people, rich and poor”.

Fortune nodded, thanked me again, told me to call on him if I needed anything. I ran down the hallway, because Prince was waiting.

The rest of that night and early morning dragged on, full of efforts to again establish IV access to infuse my blood into Prince. The boy now lay very still, even when we pricked and eventually cut through his skin, in search of a vein. Needles in the bone are good for fluid and medicine, but it’s difficult to infuse thick blood through them. They clot, back up, and at one point the nurses and I saw the wall behind Prince’s bed splattered red…the line was clotted and when we tried to flush it, the back pressure caused the syringe to burst and the blood hanging in the tubing meant for Prince sprayed everywhere.

The act of sticking and manipulating Prince’s flesh was enough, now the room looked even more like a butcher shop. We were all horrified, and in a visceral, self protective way, I rationalized that at least I knew the blood that was now everywhere was my own, and that it shouldn’t hurt anyone, because it was screened to be ok.

We cleaned up the mess, and I taught the nurses another lesson I had learned in my practice; when to call the doctor, when to call on others for help. Perhaps we could have kept going, kept sticking, but I had a growing sense that this child was, as they say, moving away from us. Calling for help earlier rather than later was what I wanted to invoke in these nurses. And perhaps, I didn’t want to be the lone, outsider practitioner here at the bedside, if after all the things we had done to his small body were suddenly viewed not only as strange and fearful, but perhaps wrong, a likely scenario if the boy was to die.

Nothing else we could do would matter without a portal to infuse blood into. It had been over an hour since we had tried to push the blood, using a pressure bag, through the interosseos needle. We could get fluids in, pushed them syringe full at a time, but not blood. Despite some improvements in hydration, we still couldn’t get a catheter to thread and hold in Prince’s arms, legs, or even scalp. We were getting nowhere, but I wanted them to see that all this meant was it was time to switch gears. Leaving this child’s bedside, waiting the night away, was a choice that was sure to produce more of nothing.

We woke up my American colleagues, and together, after more failed attempts taking us to the edge of our practice experience, we broke the call schedule rules and woke up the Liberian doctor, to do what we call a cut down. A small incision, retract the skin, hunt deep in the flesh below the deep veins that we usually can search and palpate for from above.

We found it, just as the sunlight broke through the windows of the hospital. The Liberian Doctor, Dr. Garlo, made the cut, Doctor Steve retracted the skin, together they exposed a thin white string of a vein, and worked to thread the catheter. We nurses flushed the lines, held them in place for suture, milked and connected the blood tubing. We all held our breath and watched as nurse Ahmi released the roller clamp, and the blood began to drip, drop, into the chamber, a steady flow, into Prince’s tiny, surgically located ankle vein.

Doctor. Garlo sighed, “Praise God”.We cheered and highfived in relief, but the celebration quickly became subdued. Doctor. Steve showed us that right about the time that the much waited for blood began to roll down the line into Prince, that the Grandma in bed 1 was laboring over thick mucus in her mouth and throat, and then lay completely still. Her family, no doubt roused by the rising sun, was standing just outside the doorway, watching.

While Doctor Steve and I verified that Grandma had passed, and talked with the family, the Liberian nurses tended to Prince, to the small girl in bed 2 who was now awake enough to be propped up and hold a small cup to her dry lips, and began to tidy the room. The place was littered with what seemed to be every medical supply we must have in the hospital. Death was something these nurses were well accustomed to. They cleaned, sent for the things to prepare the body, working silently, efficiently.

Outside the hospital, patients were beginning to line up, registering for the outpatient department. The old man was sweeping the floors, directing people to stand on the unswept side until he was finished. Before I started down the hill toward sleep, I checked on Prince one more time. He hadn’t seized for a while, his vital signs were stable. The blood was still running. I examined the cut down site, the suture dressing, and noted that we might soon be able to get a line into his scalp. If we needed to, we could keep trying.

I recognized that I had become rather attached to this child’s outcome. Despite my better  judgment, I was falling prey to the buzz of emotion in the room around me. Prince’s grandmother was thanking me, holding my hands. Now that the old woman who had passed was removed from the room and the family gone to make funeral preparations, the nurses were joyful, and teasing me.

“That’s a black baby with White Woman blood” they giggled. “ The old lady”, they motioned to Prince’s grandmother, “She say you are family now”.

I smiled at the woman, thankful that she was satisfied, and not ready to send the community after us in anger 
over an entire night of invasive procedures. I squeezed Prince’s little hand and he sucked at his lower lip, finally resting, ready for comfort. Family.  I remember once reading the sentence,

“Wasn’t that the definition of home? Not where you are from, but where you are wanted?”(Abraham Verghese, Cutting for Stone).

“Ok then”, I said, “When am I invited for dinner?”

Prince was discharged from the hospital, and returned to his town, just next to the border of Sierra Leone. Before he left, I was able to meet his mother, who was sent for in a bush taxi during the whole ordeal. She arrived from Monrovia, where she had been looking for work. She shyly thanked me, on the road up to the hospital one afternoon. Together we went to see Prince, and I was thankful to be able to point out good signs indicating that her boy was recovering.

The hospital refunded the money that was stolen by the day shift lab tech. It was a sad affair for this close knit community of staff. Dr. Garlo had been furious when nurse Ahmi reluctantly informed him of the deceit that had gone on that night. The tech was fired, kicked out of his home, which was hospital property. All the gossip and layers of feeling surrounding this event were not to be our domain. Like many things here, it was pushed into the periphery, like the war, the endless dying, the fact that many hospital staff steal supplies for their own, home based, fee for service practices, or directly charge the patients despite the banner sign at the hospital entrance that proclaims, “No money business here”.

In Africa, as in the rest of the world, everything is money business, even blood.  The staff at St. Timothy have not been paid for over 3 months. At times, look the other way is accepted as part of survival.

But, as nurse Ahmi remarked, in rare moment of direct contemplation, “The man stole from the old woman, from the boy, the man went too far”. The doctors and myself were relieved that the response all came from the Liberian staff and the hospital, that the outsiders were not the ones to initiate anything punitive. It would further complicate dynamics, pressing issues that at this time we felt were stretched taught to their limit.

Two weeks later, I got word from one of the nurses that they had seen Prince in his home village, that he was being carried by his grandma in the market. They recognized him by the scar to his leg, where we had cut deep, for his blood infusion vein. They reported that he ‘was trying”, which means, “getting along well”. Apparently, it is now said that Prince has two mothers, his Liberian family, and “the White Woman”, “the B positive”.

Hearing that Prince is out and about and “trying” of course felt good. Hearing the nurses explain to eachother the use of interosseus needles for short term hydration and emergency medications, seeing them excited about a new procedure that gave them options when their patients were critical, felt pretty good too. Knowing that my blood screened negative for malaria was an added perk of whole bizarre event. My conversation with Fortune, while holding a warm bag of my own blood, pulls at my heart.

At night, mosquitos continue to whine, and during the day, I continue to counsel mothers about using nets over their children’s sleeping mats. The hospital still doesn’t have electricity for refrigeration, and we continue to receive semiconscious children with “hot skin” and reports of “baby jerking”. Aside from my work in this hospital, any hospital, I know there are innovative, and successful ways to impact the terrible burden of malaria that Africa suffers. I pledge that my work will be in conjunction with these efforts, in different ways at different times. We don’t have malaria to speak of where I come from, but I will work alongside friends and colleagues who do. It’s in my blood.

Monday, 11 April 2011

Liberian Holiday

Holiday!

Today, the outpatient departments of the hospital are closed, as are schools, administrative buildings, and the baker women are putting out bread at a later time, all in observance of a national holiday. Ask around, and most Liberians will ponder for a moment before recalling the reason-oh yes, this one is in honor of J.J.Roberts, Liberia's first president, an ex slave who migrated to Liberia in 1809 from Norfolk, Virginia. Some, particularly the children out of school uniforms and happy to climb mango trees and roam freely throughout the morning, will simply shrug their shoulders and say, "Holiday"! The unspoken implication also came through clearly-Why ask why white woman, its a holiday, that's all that matters.

So, after making rounds at the hospital, I worked for half a day along side the pediatric nurses. Together we changed the dressings of a burn patient, a 3 year old whose legs and lower abdomen were splash-scalded by an overturned cooking pot, and went down the line of creaking, rusted stretcher beds, hanging IV antiobiotics, crushing and dolling out daily allotments of iron pills, paracedemol and deworming tablets. With no outpatients to see, doctors and this nurse found ourselves free by lunch time, and so...off to the beach!

The walk down the succession of hills into town has become a slow process for me, now that people recognize us and call "Hello Kath-RYNNNN" from yards, underneath the overhang of tarp covered market tables, and sometimes even, the voice of a small child high in a tree! I can't help stopping to say hi, every step of the way. Today, there was a change in tone, a spirit of relaxation, that reminded me of Memorial Day, or Labor day in the US. Children skipped up and down the dirt road, carrying treats from the market tables, sweets or small bags of popcorn. Men crouched around domino games or lounged with bottles of Club beer, and women had finished cooking the midday meal early; now they spread straw mats or lappa cloth on the ground and sat together in the shade, nursing babies, shelling peanuts, and taking the rare opportunity to hold still.

We reached the beach to find the fishing boats quiet, over turned in staggered rows, with netting and sails rolled neatly beneath. The sky was clear, endless blue, and a happy sunshine gleamed off the ocean's surface. Someone had forgotten to inform the sea of today's holiday status; the tide was actively changing, drawing up energy to churn a sharp undercurrent to the left, and draw in neat little swells, just the size for a short, wild ride to the beach. I met the water like I always do, as if embracing an old friend, waded to my knees, and then dove through the breaks. The nurses at the hospital were intrigued, and slightly alarmed, to know that I swim in the ocean, and often exclaim, "Oh Kathryn, take care there, you swim TOO much!" Supersition and folklore mystifies the ocean in Liberian culture-most people believe, on some level, in the very real risk of spirits or people living beneath the sea catching a swimmer or fisherman by the leg, holding them down, and keeping them forever. I saw no such thing this day, swimming underneath with eyes open, able marvel clearly at the ocean floor and watch small crabs chase each other. Once  far out enough to float peacefully, I reclined, the water cool and comforting around me. The clouds above moved quickly with a light but steady wind pattern, and I had a strange sense of deja vu, this perspective-image of the sky above from the ocean's surface, experienced many times in different places around the world, most notably my beloved home sate of Maine.

After a short time of floating, our quiet was interupted by a chorus of shouting. I lifted my head and began to tread water, facing the beach, just in time to see a trio of young boys, racing to the waters edge, shedding flip flops and tattered clothing as they arrived closer. One carried a flat piece of raw wood, about the length and width of his small, muscular torso. The three stormed into the ocean, diving forward to fling themselves into the breaks, surfaced, and immediately began the business of catching small waves that would carry them back up onto the beach. They were naked, their bodies glistening black against the white surf, their smiles so wide, their laughter deep and full. The one boy held his wood block square like a body board, and I realized quickly that they were quite good. Soon, I heard my own laugh, surprising myself, and soon I was swimming towards them. They grinned, we grinned, and soon, we were catching waves together, spilling up onto the beach in a pile of surf, legs and arms flailing, theirs small and mine long, all off us rolling in a big pile onto the sand, still laughing and gasping to breathe. We stood up and they shouted, "Friend, friend, watch me now, I catch that one, come on, we go..." and we were all off again!

We learned their names, Josa, Koffa and the smallest boy, Koffi. I noticed that Koffi just stayed in the shallow surf, where he could comfortably stand quickly if a big swell came in, and I went to him. Soon, the swim instructor in me was at work, teaching him to kick his feet from his waist, to arch his chest enough to rest on top of the water's surface, and to reach and circle his arms, use them to pull the water. I walked along side, cheering him on, helping with one hand lighlty placed beneath his stomach, slowly transitioning to encouraging him to work the water and take more and more of the weight of his own body, the same way I would guide small children with blond pony tails and Talbot's swim trunks from a pool's edge in Suburban America.   
 
The games continued on, catching waves, giving each other the thumbs up sign for particularly good rides, until we dragged ourselves, waterlogged, onto the beach to rest. The boys showed us how to write their names in the sand, and we demonstrated ours. They asked for money, and we shook our heads no, but I gave them my water bottle to finish, and we walked with them up the beach, into the entrance path to Kru Town, the collection of shanty houses behind the beach, where the boys live. The sun was now a golden ball hanging low behind us, the temperature on our salt and sand polished skin was gentle for a change. We said good bye to the boys at the double log bridge, a tightrope type walk across a filthy stream that is this community's water supply, that separates the beach from the main road. We exchanged high fives and hand shakes with promises for more fun next time.

That night, as I lay in bed, every muscle fatigued and content, I experienced the same feeling of continued movement, as if still being pulled and propelled by the tide, that I remembered from being a young child after a full day at the beach. My childhood beach moments involved towels and coolers full of beach food, cold lemonade, ice cream in the car on the way home. In the drop off space between wakefulness and dreams, I thought of my little body surfing friends, wondered where they were sleeping tonight, and if they had eaten well. A mixture of tenderness for them, and discomfort at the disparities between us pulled at my otherwise complete satisfaction. Always, the ever present question, what are any of us really willing to give up, when we talk about working for equality in this world? And then the puzzling, humbling reality of the nice time we were all able to share together today, where maybe, for a small moment, none of these big questions needed to be answered.


Monday, 14 March 2011

The Hospital On The Hill

Built into the hillside, just bellow the mountain spring that supplies drinking water, and  adjacent to the Episcopal Mission High School, St Timothy Hospital overlooks the town of Robersport. It is visible all the way from the beach, a white washed, concrete structure with blue lettering bearing the name of the original mission site and shuttered windows all in a line, like square portholes, also painted blue.

The nurses’ dormitory stands to the left. I am told that before the wars, this hospital was a primary site for nursing apprenticeship education. However, it was also always acknowledged to be "a hardship post", due to its remoteness and arguable degree of isolation. While perhaps not the most desirable location for those hoping to rub shoulders in Monrovia, Liberian nurses have a long history of coming to Grand Cape Mount, and to St. Timothy, to train.

Today, the dorms are not as full as they could be, should be, nor is the hospital. Staffing is limited, resources are scant, and utilization of services not maximized, creating a chicken before the egg conundrum. On one hand, to bolster the archaic technology and greatly expand staffing in the hospital and provide up to date, comprehensive services to patients, or the other, do we need first to be overwhelmed by patients, to justify this investment? The daily reality is a bad case of in between. Still, the core team of hospital workers shows up, day in and day out, to provide care to Cape Mountinians, regardless of the fact that they have not been paid for 3 months.

Our first day at St. Timothy was marked by an introduction meeting. We were presented to the staff by Dr. Garlo, the only doctor at this estimated 50 bed hospital. Dr. Garlo is one of the few remaining fully trained Liberian doctors. Estimates by various NGO groups vary, but there is agreement that there are less than 100 Liberian doctors in the entire country. That is about 1 doctor per every 135,000 people.

Keep in mind the cycles of mass exodus from this region over a 20 year period of conflict. The majority of direct clinical care and maintenance of the health infrastructure is still provided by external sources-the UN, missionaries, and NGO groups. While there are Liberians, and other West Africans employed by these groups, the majority are expatriate staff from “the western world”.  Of note, the China is investing hugely in Liberia, paving roads, building schools, health clinics, and providing the one and only CT scan machine in the entire country. All this in exchange for fishing rights to Liberia’s coast line, land to clear cut for production of palm oil, and other crops. Many dynamics and implications here, but I’ll save it for another time.

When Dr. Garlo was appointed by the Ministry Of Health to St. Timothy, there had been no doctor in residence for over a year. He is responsible for the hospital, all the health clinics of Grand Cape Mount County, and for county wide health care administration. Like most of the clinical staff at Cape Mount, he boards at the hospital, and commutes to visit his family when possible. Along side Dr. Garlo is Mr. Quaye, or “Pa” Quaye, a Physicians Assistant who remained in Robertsport during the war when the entire community was sealed off from the rest of the country by rebel warlords. He was one of the few health care providers during that time of terror.

We waited in the courtyard of the hospital that first morning, along side serious faced staff members. They seemed unsure of us, or of our presence within their daily routine. We stood, scrub clad, with our pocket guides to tropical medicine, World Health Organization guidelines, and regional essential guides for drug treatment regimes, still sweating profusely from the climb up the hill. We had taken the foot path, a root tangled, dirt trail that is preferable because it is shaded by palms, instead of the winding, dusty road that requires 4WD low to make the ascent. Now, as the sweat ran and cooled down our backs, we were able to stare out at the green tree tops below, the strip of beach lacing the town's edge, and a never ending blue ocean, with tufting white caps breaking gently, far off shore.

Nurse Ahmi arrived, in pressed white, caring her signature ring of keys. A round woman with lovely, ink black eyes, and neat rows of braids pinned at the base of her short neck. She eyed us with contemplation and addressed her crew, "All my soldiers are still standing...the day is good". They seemed relaxed by her presence, and nodded, "Yah ma'am.", shaking hands all around.

When Dr. Garlo arrived, he led us all into the conference office, an airy room filled with sunlight and a large, rough wood table, surrounded by white plastic chairs in neat rows. The staff dutifully sat as we were presented. Our introductions were formal. When encouraged to speak, we tried to convey warmness, intentions for partnership, and optimism. My guess was the first impression made was...not the worst? I sensed "watch and wait" all around, and internally responded, "fair enough".

Relatively soon, the days began to take on a familiar enough routine. Arrival at the hospital as the early heat of the day begins. The concrete floors are being swept and mopped, the patients’ families shuffle in and out with basins of water, plastic buckets of every color, often balanced upon heads, to wash. Women wrapped in brightly printed lappa cloth, carry bars of soap, hair combs, and clean laundry off the outside clothes line. They wait in line to refill water buckets, fresh from their own bucket shower, with powder dotting collarbone lines, a dusky white contrast against deep black skin. Infants with skin and hair freshly oiled bounce on sagging mattresses, waving spoons into cups of rice water, gumming their hospital issued, sesame-seed covered breakfast  “biscuit”. Malaria nets tied neatly above the cots flutter now and then, like ghosts from the night passed.

Rounds occur at each patient’s bedside. Pa Quaye, inspects the infants, then adults, flanked by the nurses who hold each chart, and scramble to rattle off vital signs when and if asked. Most assessments focus on things like “The baby sucking?” As in, is the child breastfeeding, or “This boy, he can drink?” to see if a child is able to keep fluids down. Meanwhile, patients waiting for the outpatient department line benches and vaguely engage in the daily education message, recited by a nurse tasked with addressing “ways that we prevent sexually transmitted infections”, or, “tell the real thing, so!…how we get this thing, TB”.

Rounds and treatment of outpatient illness are as much about discussing drugs to prescribe based on what is actually available as they are about care planning and case management. Quinine, first line of treatment for Malaria in Liberia, is on the order sheet for about 70% of the inpatients, despite their original presenting symptoms. However, it is a rare day that the hospital pharmacy has enough to dose all patients as ordered. Typically, once patients finish their 3 day IV course and need to be transitioned to tablets for 4 days to complete treatment, we ask their family to walk down the hill, go to the pharmacy in town to buy the medication.

Underlying, chronic pathologies such as anemia or malnutrition are addressed with pleas to care givers such as “mix some greens into this child’s fu fu, eh? He need it to make his blood strong.  Blood be TOO low after Malaria, get the greens!” to which the mothers nod dutifully.

After rounds, depending on whether there are 1 or 2 nurses assigned to all 26 inpatients, I either commence with the passing of meds, mostly in the pediatrics ward, which comprises most of the inpatient population, or work in the free standing clinic that sees all the patients under 5 years old. From here, children are evaluated for their current complaint (usually fever, gastrointestinal illness, skin infections or abscesses, cough or rapid breathing).

If they meet criteria for admission, I send them across the courtyard to the pediatric ward with a yellow card to present to the nurse. I write the focused history, physical exam findings, admission orders for drugs and fluids, based on standardized guidelines for management of symptoms based on Integrated Management of Childhood and Neonatal Illness (IMNCI) protocols. This set of treatment protocols are designed for use at the community clinic level. Clinic staff are trained to follow step by step assessment questions, and make basic clinical observations to recognize danger signs for severe disease such as dangerously high respiratory rates, chest indrawing, fever measured beyond a certain point, convulsions, signs for severe dehydration.

I myself can’t help but couple these guidelines with a differential based on health history and physical exam. I write the protocol orders, then call the on call MD or PA if I want to alter or modify the orders to prevent what I worry might be excessive use of antibiotics. Still, I am learning how quickly these children get sick, very sick. I understand why we treat a fever, or refusal to breastfeed for a day, so aggressively.

The non-admits receive treatment, a prescription to take to the pharmacy. If their reason for coming is more of a return, follow up visit, we weigh the children, plot their growth on their Road to Health Cards, and usually I counsel them to promote nutrition and other behaviors for good health.We discuss hand washing and hygiene (rub your hands fast while someone pours from the water scoop for you, dipping hands into the bucket does not wash away the dirt, cover your water basins, treat your latrines, don’t allow people to pee pee or poo poo in the yards, make them go off to the side).

I make a big production about "the power" of green leafy vegetables, and foods with color (mango-called plum, avocado-called butter pear) and how to crush them, mix into the rice porridge. We discuss that children are like chickens, that they need to eat frequent, small meals, 5 or more times a day, not one big plate of rice, set on the floor, in the dark of the morning or dusk of night. We discuss that it takes time to feed children, that you actually have to put the food to their months, feed them “actively”…that otherwise they will not take in as much food, as many calories, or complementary foods.

We discuss breastfeeding, how it is a thing that even a poor mother can give to her child, valuable for good health, more than any money. We discuss and practice making homemade rehydration solutions-boil the water, cool it, let the child sip it, from a clean cup or spoon. If the child likes, add a little coconut water. We review the vaccine schedules, and I spend a lot of time listening to the practices of “country medicine”, and other traditional treatments and practices. Most infants have tiny metal bracelets, bands of thread, little woven string basket charms, or other emblems for protection knotted around their waists, beneath their diaper cloths, or around their necks.

I look at these young, thin, sweating and worn mothers, who offer their backs and breasts to carry and comfort their infants. I wonder, as I often do at home, at the disconnect between what I am asking that people add or change about their daily routine, the benefits that these things could bring, and what is realistic for them to consider. I know that many of these mothers have been up since before light, to haul wood and water, to prepare food, to smoke and then sell fish, to walk 5 or more kilometers to come to their clinic visit, have climbed the hill, carrying 1 or 2 children, and are now sweltering on a wooden bench, fanning themselves. I know that some have “a touch” of Malaria themselves, are anemic, that they likely eat last from the family pot, once a day.

By 3 o’clock, a calm settles over the hospital campus. Peak temperature for the day has set in, and the sun reflects off the tin roof. The glare reflects off the large rocks the line and holds together the dirt road. Funny shadows are cast across the cement courtyard where brightly colored laundry drip dries from clothes lines that zig zag between the support pillars.Socks, children’s diaper covers, and t-shirts bearing the logo and names of American Little League teams, Turkey Trot 5k fundraisers, and other clothes items that make their way across the Atlantic to African clothes markets fill the space between squares of lappa cloth. This cloth, patterned cotton prints in bright, often geometric shapes, is worn as skirts and head wraps, used as blankets for newborns, as diapers for infants, to wipe noses and children’s faces, to lift away hot pot lids, and to cover the mattresses of the archaic hospital beds inside.

At this point, morning medications have been “served” by the nurses, and new admissions have been received from the outpatient clinics or ER.  New IV lines have been placed, the corresponding wailing  has ceased. The pharmacy has dispensed small zip lock bags of pills through their grated window, with slash marks made care fully to indicate taking the tablets 1-1, as in one in the morning, one at night, or 1-1-1-, morning, noon and night. The closet room used as a laboratory, where malria smears are interpreted and blood samples are spun down to be measure hemoglobin levels, is now locked and closed. If a new patient arrives, through the emergency area or otherwise, the nursing staff will have to call the lab tech on his cell phone and hope that he will come before rounds the next morning. The clinic's bleacher style benches are now empty, save for the stray person that has chosen to stay and sleep in the shade of the covered hallways. 

The adult inpatients hitch up their hospital gowns, maybe put on a t-shirt over top, and wheel their IV poles or carry their urinary catheter bags in order to go stroll outside. They sit on benches or the front cement steps, trying to feel some breeze or movement of air. They gossip and watch foot traffic on the road below. Sometimes they comment on the state of the ocean, further on, towards the horizon. If there are visible white caps, or the sky begins to darken with an impending storm, they might remark, “the sea, its troubled today”.
 
Inside, on the pediatric ward, the infants sleep while their IV medications infuse; yellow colored potions roll from the drip chambers, down the tubing, bringing “science medicine” directly into portals placed painstakingly into these tiny arms and hands.  Their mothers snooze beside them in bed, periodically swatting away flies. The nurses sit down for perhaps the first time, wipe their foreheads and upper lips, and begin to write out lists for the next round of medications due. The periodically glance at their cell phones, hoping for news or a familiar voice, knowing it will be 14 long days before time off to see their children or family again.

The hospital support staff-the broad chested, toothless women who boil enormous kettles of rice in the kitchen, the old man who drags a mop across the concrete floors, the ambulance driver, and registrers can be found napping on wooden benches, beneath trees, or can be seen walking slowly, down the hill, heading home for the day. Some remove plastic bowls from tucked away corners and eat the midday meal of rice, dry fish, and red palm oil.

Every thing seems to move slowly or even stand still; between the heat and effort spent to complete the morning routine, even the roosters are subdued, and take pause from their otherwise incessant squacking. At the nurses dorm it is also quiet, save for the sound of a radio, bringing BBC Africa news updates detailing the siege in Abijan, or the declaration of Libia’s no fly zone. Smoke curls from behind the building, where someone has lit a coal pot fire, signaling that the night shift crew is now awake, and preparing to cook, do laundry, and cold iron press their uniforms. The day seems to be ending, beginning, and staying the same all at once.

Sunday, 13 March 2011

Mamma Ellie, We Welcome You!

2.26.2011

My second night in Robersport was when Madam President Ellen Johnson Sirleaf came to town. Her visit had been forecast ed to occur earlier that week, perhaps on Wednesday. But each day the reports in town circled the message relayed from Monrovia that the impending visit would occur later that day, or then, tomorrow. Saturday morning we saw that perhaps the degree of suspicion that her arrival would actually occur that day was increased, as evidenced by the furious raking of yards to hide any litter or trash, and a last minute effort by the town of Robertsport to paint “curbs” and lines along the parts of the road that involved pavement. Young boys rushed about town with buckets and rags, smearing paint along the perimeters of the road, and placed dashes down the middle. Never mind that not one of the lines was the same size or even in proportion to the others. I saw that the paint was so watered down, that it would shortly ware away, so, why worry?

We walked through town, noticing a degree of anticipation. Childrens' choirs were rehearsing. Crowds congregated at the intersection of the town’s main road, and the only road leading in. Children ran to the high points on the bordering hill to watch for the road dust indicating an approaching motorcade. Right on time (African time), the line of security vehicles began to arrive, as the sun turned red and dipped low. We watched the commotion from a shaded roof top, waiting for the sun to drop completely before we ventured down into the heat and dust. After a visit to the town sports and youth center, a wire and tin building with a playing field worn to dirt by the constant pounding of young footballers’ feet in what seemed to be a never ending match, in play day in and day out, the presidential vehicles paraded through the main street, making its way to the town hall, where the address would occur.

Robertsport citizens were understandably excited. It was now very dark and the energy level of the crowd rose in proportion to the approach of the SUV identified to be carrying Madam President herself. The security team maintained strict watch, preventing people from crossing the street and approaching vehicles. I was photographing the groups of children waving braided palm banners, and was startled to be asked to show the security director all pictures on my digital camera. I was worried that they were going to try to take it from me, but they calmly, without expression, informed me that I just needed to delete any images of security, presidential vehicles, or staff. And yes, I should do it right now, in font of them. This one, and this one, that one is ok, and so on. Done and done. No problem. 

As we turned the corner, following the line of foot traffic that flanked the motorcade on its way to the town hall, I saw a group of women wearing white T-shirts, covered in marker pen lettering, and homemade banners proclaiming “Stand by Me, Women in Development-Rights and Skills for the future”. These women were chanting and stamping- old women with gray braids, young women with infants on their backs and hips, linking arms with each other, their voices rising above the crowds, harmonious. Small children clapped along, mimicked their words and movements, beaming at their moms, perhaps unsure of their cause or reason for passion, but excited none the less.

I felt a switch turn inside me, and my footsteps brought me to stand in front of them, before I even could consider what I was doing. Like a dummy, I smiled, and shyly waved, then leaned to one of them who was curious enough to make eye contact with me and said, “I like your group, I like what you are doing”. That moment was like in kindergarten, when you take a risk and wait to see what the other kids are going to do in response. I watched her dark eyes consider for a moment, me, a tall, white stranger, distracting her on a very important day. The corners of her mouth quivered, then turned…up at the edges, into a smile. That smile was like a warm rain for me; it spread slowly across her face, revealing beautiful cheek bones and perfect teeth. She reached out, pulled my arm and drew me into their midst. It was all I could do to wave to Rob on the way in, hoping he would see what was happening, realizing that though the town was small, I barely knew it, and could easily get lost.

The inner circle was loud and raucous. I clapped along with their chanting, but my new friend wasn’t satisfied. She slowed down the words to their song, enunciating each word, teaching me patiently. “Ma-ma El-lie, We will-come –yooo…”I parroted. Like a baby learning to talk, I made the sounds. Slowly it dawned on me what we were saying. We were welcoming the president! I got it, and sang loudly, clearly. My friend nodded approval, and then I saw that the others were smiling around me to. They pointed to me, when they said the words “welcome you”. I pointed back to them, humbled. They kept me with them all the way to the hall...saying, “you are with us now…We stand by each other, for women…for rights”. We got separated at the door, as my messenger bag again drew suspicion from the presidential security. Not wanting to disrupt these women in their effort to be recognized by Madam President, I waved them on. It was for the best, I found Rob again, and we found a corner inside the hall to squeeze into and wait for Mama Ellie to speak.

Madam President of Liberia is a regal woman; savvy, incredibly charismatic, and an excellent speaker. I observed, with awe and consideration, the way she engaged the entire crowd. Men cheered her on, emphasizing their agreement with a traditional cow’s horn instrument. Young people, in flip flops and T-shirts glorifying American rap music icons dropped their cool aloofness, stood straight, smiled, and nodded when she directed them to pursue their education with a hungry heart and a disciplined mind. Of course the women loved her, and she acknowledged them by shouting “Ladies, my sisters, thank you, I Stand By You Too!”  Of course, I cheered, happy for them.

Madam President’s visit was a quite event for this town, and for me. I am humbled and thankful to say that I got to meet her, both that night at the event, and the next day, when she made a surprise visit to St. Timothys Hospital. Being in Liberia for a whole two days, I did not feel even close to deserving, but am glad that the county superintendent made her aware of the hospital project and that it seems to be to her liking.

Weeks later, having settled into a routine, I was walking home from an evening swim, and heard a familiar cadence coming from a yard behind me. I looked up to see 3 women, braiding each others hair and waving to me…calling, “we welcome you…” 

This time it took me less then a second, the words came to me and I was at their side, laughing and shaking hands all around. “I told you, you are with us now”. My friend from that night reminded me. It was her yard we were sitting in, underneath a hand painted sign that said “Beauty Salon-Woman Entrepreneur Site”. I nodded my head, so touched I could only manage “Yes, I am.” 

They asked me how things are at the hospital, and we talked for a few. As I continued up the hill, I could not help but smile, warm from the walk, but more from the glow of those smiles reflecting back at me,  pure human connection and kindness.

Friday, 25 February 2011

A Small Corner of The Earth

The first two days in country were spent shopping for house supplies, dipping in and out of crowded, dirt floor markets along the crooked streets of Monrovia, and picking up licenses to work from the Ministry of Health.

The heat and street dirt combined to make a sweaty paste across foreheads, underarms, and staining our clothes with red, damp creases. Traffic crawls through the narrow streets of Monrovia; motor cycles with two to three passengers and the daily market haul, Toyota van taxis packed to the brim, people turning their faces against the smeared windows to find their own corners to breathe, constant lines of white SUVs displaying every NGO emblem, and crowds of people, pushing this way, then suddenly that way. Vendors wield goods for sale in front of car windshields. Others carry food items; live chickens, stacks of cell phones, toilet seats, bike tires, cardboard palates displaying wash clothes, sunglasses, and bins of recycled clothes items.

These drums of clothing are filled with the sort of things mass produced for western discount chain stores, manufactured in export processing zones of Southeast Asia, and now for sale in outdoor markets of West Africa. Some are donated by Goodwill, Salvation Army charities, shipped in containers with other goods to a local Liberian merchant where they are sold street side in places like Waterside, Rallytown, or Dulalla. Some are the after season items that do not sell of the sale racks. Others are second quality, printed backwards, inside out, or with zippers in not quite the right place. Some are simply imported by Chinese or Lebanese wholesalers. Regardless of where they are coming from, it is highly possible to spot a 23 year old in full on hip hop wear, with a T shirt printed inside out that reads, “Baby bump here”, with an arrow pointing to his belly button.


Finally, as the merciless sun began to move to a lower position and cast gentler shadows across the city, we loaded up and began the traffic bound crawl. Slowly working our way out of the city, we headed towards Grand Cape Mount County, and Robertsport. Transportation was thanks to a new Spanish friend, who gave us a ride in his “Africa mobile”, a rugged vehicle converted to accommodate his overland camping road trip through the region, sampling west African languages, music, the dry dessert and misty rain forests,  and at this time settled in Robertsport in search of great surf.

During the 3 hour drive from the capitol to our little fishing town destination, we three shared good humor, a chocolate bar, cassette tapes of local West African music, and presented the same story to each security check point officer, rationalizing our presence and car loaded down with supplies. We rolled down the windows and were lulled by the truck engine, the circulating air, and the waning sound of Monrovia disappearing behind us.

Despite it being the dry season, the countryside is very green.  The town crouches along the beach, up the sharp, red dirt hillside, past cement and corrugated tin covered houses to where the hospital sits overlooking it all, underneath waving palms. The houses and other structures look eerie, almost haunted. Faded paint, open walls covered in lichen, with grass and vines spurting up and around the remnants of manmade construction, like ruins…ruins from grand days gone by, quietly standing, while a sleepy fishing town still ravaged and stunned from years of war goes about its daily business of catching fish, running market tables, and hauling water.

These buildings appear temporary,or in various stages of reconstruction, though really, very little work is being done. Families live, have been living, in these broken down interiors for generations, sometimes planting vines and herbs in paint cans to line the falling down concrete steps, or to set in the arch ways of cavernous doorways.

Some buildings are scared by bullets, some still bear the sprayed paint slash markers or graffiti, made bade various rebel groups that moved through the town multiple times during the war years. These homes and their inhabitants were ravaged over and over. I am told that each group would come and loot-the first wave taking valuables and food staples, furniture, and livestock.  The second wave would strip the light bulbs, doors and windows, roof materials, terrorizing families in their midst. When there was nothing left for the next wave of rebel soldiers, young boys with guns hanging out of the back of pickup trucks, there would be anger and increased violence against the village people, who would hide in the undergrowth of the forest, sometimes for days, when the rebel caravans stormed through. If they were found, there would often be "punishment" from rebels, for having nothing left. There are mass graves throughout town, and posters reminding women that "rape was, and still is, a crime".

Today, time seems juxtaposed; nothing changes, yet there is little indication of permanence, other then the presence of familiar faces in the dirt and grass yards on a daily basis. Or, there are box houses, made of mud and straw and tin, homes with chickens and goats and worn soccer balls running wild. Any shutter or painted portion of a building that hasn’t faded against the sun and sea salt and so retains a recognizable color is some variation of azure blue. You see it here, just enough that it becomes a theme. I’ve come to equate it with this part of the country, like the ocean; I refer to it as Liberian Blue.

The beach, with long sand fingers that spread and stir the ocean inlet, breaks the rolling blue, causing cascades of white surf to circle and spread up the side of a golden shore, which runs the length of the town.  Wooden canoe like vessels with sails sewn from patches of collected plastic scraps can be seen at work early in the morning or late afternoon. The bear names like "God Children", "Afro Arab", or my favorite "Goodluck These Eyes".

Women and children line the beach, watching the skyline, waiting with plastic basins of every color, to do the work of processing the catch once the fishermen return. On good days they can be seen with whole fish balanced on heads, walking back from the beach towards the market. Other times the nets are cast from shore, and teams of men, assisted by small children, work to reel the nets to the beach. The movement is coordinated, arm and shoulder muscles moving in unison with each pull and long stroke, they drag nets full of smaller fish, and a variety of crabs, from the ocean up onto the beach.   

Fishing is the way and work of life here in Robertsport. It is not just the primary industry, it defines the culture of this small community. Most families are fishing, selling their catch in town, or drying and smoking whole fish in oven huts built off the side of their homes…with no refrigeration, this is the only way to preserve the fish. Most meals are made with some variation of a broth, seasoned by dried fish, torn carefully into the pot at the beginning of the cooking processes. Other ingredients seem to be the all powerful Maggi bullion cube, onion, red Argo oil, and dried red pepper.

Mornings are characterized by fishermen convening silently on the beach, unrolling their sails, made simply from patchwork sewn plastic, wrapped with plastic twine around a simple bamboo mast and boom. Midday, the beach is rather empty, save for the random swimmer, or perhaps the fishermen napping beneath their overturned boats, waiting out the heat of the day until its time to push their boats off the beach again, for the evening catch. Smoke curls from the huts at the edge of the beach, where the wives of Kru Town are working away to preserve the fish, reading it to sell or use.

On Fridays there is the early morning call to the town Mosque. On Saturday evenings, the gospel choir rehearses at the town hall. Sunday Mornings, people dress in lace and traditional print fabric wraps and dresses. Men crowd and lean forward around domino tables, telling stories in Vai, Gola or sometimes English, sharing bottles of Club beer, waiting for the relief of the evening breeze.  During the weekday afternoons, around 1pm, you see the school children in royal blue dress uniforms stream down the hillside, through town, stopping at roadside stands to buy a plastic bag of water, a donut from a well worn plastic jar, picking their way home. Evenings are quiet. The heat relents slightly, casting soft shadows. Cook fire smoke laced with red pepper fills the air. Children gather and hang on the side of the water pumps, playfully swimming the level up and down, to fill containers of every size, or, can be seen going to the streams. They balance plastic buckets and drums on their small heads, glancing sideways at you to say a shy hello, their expressions serious, ever conscious to avoid spilling a drop.

Roosters crow at all hours of the day and night. Dogs bark and scuffle in dirt yards, nipples sagging, their backs scraggly with wild fur, or bare, depending on their condition. People call to each other on the road, into each others' windows, or argue from yards away. Radios blare BBC Africa or remixed R&B songs. Children pull toy trucks made out of plastic bottles with bottle caps fastened for wheels with bits of twine, spin bicycle rims in front of them with sticks, or pound tomato cans as drums.

The generator to the hospital on the hill kicks on after dark and whines through the night, and sometimes, the babies in the pediatric ward stop crying as they are rocked to sleep. Far away, down the hill, at the edge of town, waves lap and pound the beach, keeping rhythm and time, always.